Beware the Elderly Veteran Herrings
You can almost hear the red herrings flapping as George Bush Sr.’s PR team scrambles to slap away accusations of sexual harassment for instances of – you guessed it – sexual harassment.
The spin team is flinging out explanations like little kids with a loose grip flying off a spinning merry-go-round. I don’t mean for that to be an insensitive metaphor. I use it because I was that kid once and I remember losing my grip as the merry-go-round went faster. Sometimes you just can’t hang on any longer.
And so go a number of explanations flung outward at the women who “misunderstood his attempt at humor”. The dizzying kaleidoscope of distraction spin is as storied and colorful as it is absurd. An elderly and wheelchair-bound World War II veteran was just trying to be funny, according to his spin doctors and far too many commenters. But as Dr. Nerdlove put it when dissecting a similar “misunderstanding” on his outstanding blog: “The mind scarcely has the courage to boggle.”
Where to begin? In a no-shit, I-wish-this-weren’t-necessary nod to equality – the disabled, the elderly and veterans are all people. These groups have long fought for the equality and respect they deserve because they are – gasp – people. And all people in civilized society are expected to follow the same rules as everyone else. Being disabled, elderly, military or any combination therein doesn’t preclude you from knowing and doing what is legally and morally right. And being a decent person should prevent you from grabbing anyone’s ass without their permission. Regardless of your credentials or your disabilities. Accomplishments do not endow you with opportunities to commit transgressions against others any more than disabilities would exempt you from consequences for doing so.
Make no mistake, George Bush Sr. is capable of abiding by social norms. So perhaps the larger problem is the very norms that make these transgressions “misunderstandings” or attempts at “humor”. The reality is that he grabbed ass because he wanted to grab ass.
“At age 93, President Bush has been confined to a wheelchair for roughly five years, so his arm falls on the lower waist of people with whom he takes pictures. To try to put people at ease, the president routinely tells the same joke — and on occasion, he has patted women’s rears in what he intended to be a good-natured manner. Some have seen it as innocent; others clearly view it as inappropriate. To anyone he has offended, President Bush apologizes most sincerely.”
There are a number of things wrong with this kaleidoscope explanation given by The Washington Post spokesman, Jim McGrath. Not least of which is the fact that it was issued by Jim McGrath. Of The Washington Post. Not the person 1.) His age is irrelevant and bears no mentioning. 2.) Where his arm falls bears mentioning only to his doctors if he is experiencing pain or unnecessary discomfort. 3.) He is not invited to any event to be a court jester or put people at ease. He is invited to events as a former president – an office which used to imbue a solemn dignity. 4.) he could’ve “David Cop-a-feel”ed (I don’t know how to spell this or make a lame pun into a verb) any of the men at any of these events or photo shoots. But he doesn’t. So this “joke” explanation doesn’t hold water – as it never does because it is so patently not the real reason. 5.) “What he intended” does not matter. Intentions are irrelevant and apologies should not be suspended from them. 6.) Trying to imply that the spectrum between innocent and inappropriate is as long as “the moral arc of the universe” implies that the problem here is the interpretation of the action. The problem is the action itself. Attempting to hang that action between two differing interpretations shifts the conversation to how “others”, undefined by Mr. McGrath, view it – a good-natured pat on women’s rears or sexual assault. It is classic divide-and-conquer. I find myself even hesitating – wasting time trying to decide between the words assault and harassment.
As more accusations amount to a pattern, it is the same joke, the same pervy reach-around during a photo shoot and the same pile of divergent explanations-as-apology.
So as a third woman reports being groped while posing for a photograph, ignore the sounds of red herrings slapping and flopping about. Ignore his steaming horseshit explanation of “trying to put people at ease.”
Do not get distracted by the commenters and commentators who veer off topic by proclaiming that rape is worse. It is. But rape is not the topic here. Unwanted ass-grabbing is. Rank-ordering degrees of offending behavior – touching is worse than lewd comments, violence is worse than touching, rape is worse than groping – creates the implication that anything less than what the particular commenter deems “too far” is ok. This is a sliding scale of bullshit when the only true metric is consent.
Pay attention to the fact that *she* was told to be discreet after *he* grabbed her ass. As though she was more responsible for stewarding his image and reputation than he is. Pay attention to the fact that she was told this by a handler and the fact that this David Cop-a-Feel is apparently a well worn favorite joke of his.
Pay attention to the fact that *if* an apology is issued it is always couched in *if* any offense was taken. Despite the fact that they are responding to a statement of an offense being taken. The apology, which is always diluted through a third party, is never “I’m sorry *that* I offended Ms. Lind, Ms. Grolnick and Ms. Kline. It is grammatically passive in every way. The subject becomes third person as it is issued through a spokesperson. The verb becomes passive. It is rarely active in these statements. And the object becomes even more passive by being removed altogether.
The fact that the damage control is as passive and normalized as the ass-grabbing is the insidious issue here. The responsibility to do the right thing is not on the women he targets. The onus is on him, at any age, any ability level, any military status, to not touch people without their permission.